FIrst Time Snowboarding

So I went snowboarding for the first time today. I was really psyched about it and I was eager to try something new. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm not that good. It takes a lot of balance and you need to have a strong core. The first major challenge was standing up. I always seem to just slide and tumble down the mountain. After I was finally able to get up, I had trouble staying up. And of course, I finally had trouble stopping. I had many bumps and bruises of a first-timer. If there ever is a next time, I am going to shake off my failures and try to persevere until I get it. Hopefully, I come better prepared next time with a full night's rest and some water and snacks to stay energized.
My sleep pattern is really fucked up now. Today, I was so drowsy and right now, I'm so awake. This can't be good for me.

Let's try a snow-themed poem today.

Ice Queen
The Ice Queen sits at the top of the hill
She waits there peacefully, quiet, and still
Her beauty invites you
But her coldness bites you
All men walk away with a sudden chill

See No Evil but read my poem first!

I went to a Chinese buffet with my mom and grandparents today; it was my first time driving on the 55 fwy. I ate until my stomach bulged and then I stopped. Then I came home and took a nap. And that's it.

Before I did all that, I had the pleasure of seeing a very good movie. It is called Blindness. I was bugging all my friends to watch it for me but they never want to see any actual GOOD movies. They only want to watch crap or movies with famous people in it. Mostly, they like to watch comedies, which is call good and fine (who doesn't like a good comedy) but sometimes I wish they were more open to films with actually substance and meaning to them.

Okay, so this movie is very intriguing. I like to think of it as a zombie movie mixed with a prison movie. So the synopsis is: an airborne virus spreads across a city which causes blindness. Now if that isn't scary enough, the protagonist is immune to the virus and has the misfortune of witnessing the horrors of what people would actually do if people knew that others weren't watching. She accompanies her husband, an afflicted eye doctor, to the makeshift quarantine building to "watch over" him. She ends up taking the responsibility/obligation of being the eyes for the entire ward. And like I said before, she has to see the carnal evils of man as everyday people resort to savage behavior once they lose their precious sense of sight. To put it lightly, they lose their shit and bust a Chernobyl. It is very bleak look at how quickly our world would crumble if we were lose something like sight. But, of course, sight is a symbol for something. I'll watch it couple of more times and I'll let you know what it is when I figure it out.

This movie really made me think about sight and what type of person I am. It made me ask a lot of questions about life. If I was one of the people in that quarantined building, would I become savage? If I retained my vision, would I be so generous as to help all the blind? Am I good person at heart (rhetorical question, please don't answer because I doubt anyone can ever know)? Well the way I see it, we are all good until we get pushed. The only difference between us all is that we have different limits which would make us "bad." For some, losing your vision is not so bad; for others, they flip their shit. So what is my limit? Do I turn into an asshole when people look at me funny or do I have to be ridiculed and humiliated before I react? Is there such a thing as forever benign or empirical evil? Perhaps these are some of those questions, we'll never know the answer to. But the fact that this movie got me to ask them makes this movie outstanding in my book.

That's it for my sermon of the day, here's I poem I wrote in my dreams. Isn't that nice? I rhyme in my sleep! But anyways, this is another one of those poems where I try to convey emotion and feeling. Please let me know what you think of it.

---

I Used to Have a Lover

I used to have a lover

She left me for another man
Never telling me why she ran
The last thing I told her was I'd let her go
Sometimes it still feels like she's mine though

I used to have a lover

She'd kiss my chapped lips and I'd warm her cold hands
But now she's off to sea while I'm stuck on land
I tried looking for a new lover to hold
But no one else can shake away this cold

I used to have a lover

Back when all was well in wonderful ways
But I never appreciated it until these darker days
You can never go back to find your happiness
Yet you'll chase the past and settle for no less

I used to have a lover

But now I just have a phone number
"If I call, will she answer?" I wonder
If she'll pick up then I'll call, but she won't
I used to have a lover but now I don't

Merry Stupid Christmas - and Benjamin Button

Yippity-too-haa.

Like every holiday from now on, Christmas was uneventful and dreary. I don't have anything to say about it, so I guess I won't say anything at all.On a side note, I saw a pretty good movie today: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It's a great love story between a boy who grows young and a girl who's flaw is her beauty. I had no idea that it was based off a book, but when I first saw the trailer, I remarked that it was a really original idea. The story was refreshing but also hard to believe. Aside from the fact that the dude grows backwards, the romance between the two of them is pretty farfetched. Beautiful girls don't fall for old dudes. Wise men don't fall more immature chicks. Also, there never seemed to be any conflict in their lives. Things were pretty much smooth sailing and they were never in want of money. Oh well whatever. In any case, it's a sweet tale of unconditional love. Two people love each other in spite of age, beauty, wisdom, circumstance. They simply cared for each other and wanted to be together no matter what. It is good to know that others share the notion that you can love someone despite their set-backs. I believe that if you love someone-- truly and absolutely love someone-- you will overlook flaws and stay in love no matter what. In fact, you learn to love the flaws. One of the best lines in the movie really stuck in my head. After I heard it, I was like whoa. I don't know it verbatim, but it went a little something like this:

"God takes people away from us. If he didn't we wouldn't be able to appreciate them."

That's not the exact line, but it really touched me. It kind of made me understand death a little better(at least accept it). Not just death, but loss. I was sitting thinking "man, this is deep shit. And it's so true! You never appreciate anyone until they're gone." It's like cliche, but it makes sense. The only sad part about it is once you appreciate them, it's too late to do anything about it. You can't even let the person know. So I guess you have to tell them while you still can.

I appreciate all my readers... all 3 of you...

---

When I grow old
When I am gray and wrinkled
And the hair on my head is sprinkled
Will you still be at my side?
After the children grow to parents
And we've dealt with all the nonsense
Will our love be just as wide?
As my mind starts to slip
And I come to the end my trip
Will you come along for the ride?
Once I've seen my last sunset
You will remain the best one yet
Will you cry for me after I've died?

Terrible

I am just having the worst fucking time right now. Everything is just so bleek and hopeless. I honestly don't know what the hell is going to happen. I can't even imagine how things could possibly improve without divine intervention. But I won't bore you with the details. I'm probably just being a whiny little bitch. Just finding it difficult to see the silver lining in this.
My mood has this nasty habit of going from high and bright during the day and plummeting down the dark abyss at night. Maybe it's depression; maybe it's just me being a baby.

But seriously, I can count the things that I'm happy about on one hand.
1. My friends...
2. My intelligence...
3. My health...
4. Watching movies...

That's about it... and they're all fading.

I am so over winter. This is my fucking December...
Can't wait until Springtime for David...

Blah I'm just being a crybaby. No poem. Good night.

I am like ADDICTED to the movie 27 Dresses!

I've seen the movie 27 Dresses like three times this week. I got it in a Blu-ray three pack along with Juno and The Devil Wears Prada. But this is the movie I've seen the most out of my whole Blu-ray collection. I don't know why I don't like this one so much. It's not even that great of a movie. It's like super-dramatic and cheesy and romantic and I LOVE IT! Katherine Heigl is fuh-reeking amazing in it. Also, this movie totally changed my mind about James Marsden and I respect that guy as an actor now! It's totally a guilty pleasure movie which is why I am watching it right now!
What else do I have to report? Life sucks... but the rain left so that's all good. Got about half of my Christmas shopping done. I have a history of getting shitty gifts so I'm being extra cautious this holiday. Gift-giving is the only part about being in a relationship that I don't miss. I don't mind spending copious amounts of money on someone I adore, but finding a gift that they will love and appreciate always is very stressful! It it were up to me, I would buy a gadget or jewelry for every occasion but I think it would get boring. "Happy birthday, here's an iPod; Happy anniversary, I got you this necklace; Merry Christmas, I bought you a digital camera; Happy Valentine's day, I got you a ring!" Jewelry and electronics are just too easy... but if there's a girl out there who's happy with lavishly expensive and thoughtless gifts, then hello!
Time passes by so fast.

---

Fun Poem Time!

XXXMAS
It is so cold outdoors
And I don't have a blanket
Maybe I can sneak into yours
To feel your ass and spank it
Glacial winds chilled my skin
So you rub yourself on me knowingly
You warm me up from within
Now the wind isn't the only thing blowing me
The temperature rises higher yet
Your speed catches me off guard
Even though our bodies sweat
It's not the cold making my nipples hard
You end it all with a goodnight kiss
I wonder how hot it'll be next Christmas

Hahaha Lalala-- it's all for fun.

LOL who is MagicBobert? [and Slumdog Millionaire]

So in my last two posts, some fruity loop has been giving me later comments. I'm not even mad. I'm just laughing over his stupid name. The lameness of the name makes me think it's one of my friends. Hahaha, this lollerfag got up at 6 in the morning to hate. That's tragic, not magic!
To be continued...

Continued at 12:07 AM

Okay so the other big event of the day has got to be Slumdog Millionaire. I'm not one to go with the hype, especially when it comes to movies; but this one intrigued me. So much so that I actually decided to watch this movie alone. It was also the first time I went to the Regency Theater on Sunflower. The shitty little one that only shows art and/or foreign films.
Allow me to digress and describe this theater before praising this film. Although I appreciate that a theater which shows such great and rare films such as this one can be found so close to my home, the poor quality of the screening room makes me want to never go back there again. I've been wanting to go there since like Lars and the Real Girl was showing. But I think because I saw Slumdog, I'll definitely be back. Okay, so the screen is like the size of a classroom wall. It projected maybe 24 x 14 ft. Also, there were like FIFTY rows of seats all with just ten. But it was empty. So like I sat in maybe the 8th row and I just barely got a good look. I can't even imagine what the old people on the 30th row were looking at on a screen that small. Seats reclined but they were wobbly. And lastly, the popcorn was salty and stale.
But this horrible movie-going experience was compensated by the grandness of the film. So I've been hearing and reading a lot of buzz about this movie. They were calling it the best film of the year. Well, let me assure you, it doesn't trump Dark Knight, but it's definitely remarkable; one of the best in years. My favorite thing about it was the innovative story format. It's a frame narrative that unveils the story through a game show format. I was so captivated that I held in a piss for like 90 minutes because I didn't want to miss a second. The realism is frightening but also enlightening. In short, if you trust my taste in movies, check it out. It releases worldwide this Christmas.

It's raining again. I don't care for the rain. I give you... a haiku!

No More Rain
Rain, rain, go away
Do not bother me today
Then I'll be okay

De•cid•u•ous: (adj.) Falling off or shed seasonally or at a certain stage of development in the life cycle

I just got back from a walk to the park. I've been getting in touch with nature lately; who knows why!

So as I walking along the trees, the wind was blowing pretty hard. It was starting to bug my eyes so I stopped to take a quick break. That was when I saw it: the first bare tree of the winter. For those of you that have never had a nature lesson, let me give you a crash course. Some trees retains their green leaves year-round like pine or palm trees. They are called evergreen trees. Other trees, called deciduous trees, have leaves that turn to an autumn color (red, yellow, orange, brown, violet) and they shrivel up and fall. This process is called abscission and it happens to promote the flow of air to carry the pollen. So anyways, that's what happened to this tree. He stood so sad and lonesome that I decided that I would rest next to it. We could enjoy the Saturday afternoon together keeping each other company. So I just sat underneath this tree listening to music for about 30 minutes and thought. Before I got up to leave, I noticed that there was one last lonely leaf left. Hang on there, little guy.

I have work later. Don't really have much to say, but I'll add it later if I think of anything.

Longest day of my life

I have been up since the midnight of today. I didn't sleep. Why? 'Cause me and William are gangsters!

But I was really dizzy during my anthro final. So I'm a little worried about that. I had an espresso at like 11:30 but I started crashing around 1:00. The final started at 1:30. I finished it at 2:45. Little fast right? I hope my head was screwed on straight when I answered them. 'Cause it felt a little too easy...

I had a peaceful moment afterward at Aldrich Park. I just lied down, listened to music, and stared at the branches sway with the wind. You know what it inspired? That's right, a poem!

Wind and the Tree
The wind tells the tree hello
And shakes hands with the leaves
"Thank you for the blow,
Can I have another, please?"

"I was just flowing by
And noticed you with your frown
I heard about you from the sky
You're the only oak tree in town"

The two continued their dance
For another minute or two
"This was my only chance
To get to know about you"

And with that the wind blew away
Promising to return another day

Eve of the Final Final

Okay, well tomorrow I have my last final. I really only had two finals and this would be my second one. So I'm not going to complain because I know a lot of people had it much worse. I also have a paper due tomorrow. I just need to revise my draft so it's no big deal.

I should really be going over my notes and working on my essay. Too bad I have the attention span of a fly surrounded by Christmas lights. And I just got back from a poker night at Bruce's. Haven't played in a while, but I made a few moves. Thanks Bruce, I needed some fun!


So right now instead of doing anything productive, I'm watching a movie called Love Actually. It's an old favorite of mine that I watch every holiday season. It takes place in London around December. My favorite thing about it is that it is an ensemble piece which tells the story of like 12 people and they're experiences with love during Christmas time. They are all connected and the plots are interwoven so the characters run into each other throughout the movie. It has got pretty much all the big stars from Britain. So this is like the perfect movie for me because I like everything about it: love, Christmas, connections, British people, and Keira Knightley!


So I guess I better get back to work, ey? Wish me luck and I'll see you soon!

---

The moon is awfully big and bright tonight so I guess I'll dedicate tonight's poem to the moon.

Ode to the Moon
The moon is highest at midnight
It makes a shadow against the ground
Perhaps if you stare into the moonlight
The things you lost might be found
What do you see in the dark sky?
Does my silhouette glow faintly?
Don't you ever wonder why
I call to you so blatantly?
You may think you've escaped your fate
But the moon will reveal your sin
Maybe you will be too late
Who would want you then?
The moon is telling you to act
Before it's too late to go back

Small Victory

Not all days are winners. Sometimes we can go through weeks with our heads down and and our spirits low. But the great thing about this is that it makes the days you win that much better. We can't always win the war, but each battle won makes us forget about losing.

I did something today that I've been wanting to do for weeks. Fate brought me multiple opportunities but I never had the courage to do it. Well today, Lady Fortune presented another chance and it fell right on my lap. I don't know why; maybe karma is starting to fall in my favor. But I don't want to make presumptions, I'm just glad that I had a good day today.

---

So for our poetry reading today, I'm going to present a different style of writing. Shakespeare did sonnets and he perfected it. But the reason his sonnets sounded so good was because he wrote in iambic pentameter. That combined with the rhyme scheme made his sonnets flow very smoothly. I'm not very good at meter and I can't for the life of me describe iambic pentameter to you. So I'm gonna try good ole fashioned couplets today.

The wind blows hard as the sun shines bright
This hot day is cooled by the cold night
My body shivers while sweat beads form
The paradoxes of today are out of the norm

There's a message behind the shift in the weather
Like forces of nature, humans don't mix well together
Making peace isn't always a possible outcome
'Cause we can't erase where the anger comes from

Asking me to give pardon is like parting the sea
Why can't you do what's expected of me?
Nobody wants to be the bigger person
It takes two to forgive, so you be the first one

In the past, I have proven my skill to be fair
But how will you cope when I am not there
I may be immature, but it's the only time
I'm being punished when I didn't commit the crime

No Problem

Have you ever had a tiny problem that you thought you could fix? And then when you try to fix it, you make it worse?

Well my headphones shorted out today. So I tried to fix it. So I bust out the Swiss Army knife, and then...

More proof that David CAN'T do it all.

Oh yeah, and I had my Humcore final today. NAILED IT! At least a 85% I guarantee it!

---

So since I didn't write a poem yesterday, I guess I owe you two. No problem!

Poems are supposed to be fun. They can't always be never-ending love and great regrets. I can't be super cereal all the time, so I'm going to write some lighter poem.

Yellow Paper
The girl sat down with a pen in her hand
With closed eyes stared at the sky
A yellow notepad from the STAPLES brand
Rested between her palm and thigh
She jots three words and rips out the page
Folds the sheet and sets it on the table
She looks at me and begins to gauge
A smile forms and I become unstable
Chills run down my spine as I see her arise
Her tea-colored legs carry her my way
She steps in front of me linking our eyes
And drops the note as she walks away
I awake from my daze and unfold the note
On yellow paper "I love you" is what she wrote

OOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooo what's up! You know that's good!

Another thing I want practice is to communicate emotion in my words. I've only written a handful of sad poems so I'm not very good at this. A great poet who has experienced great loss can use his feelings to create a great poem! The poem will make the reader empathize with the writer and both will share the same feelings of pain and loss. I'll try my best. Please let me know.

Don't forget me
The years we had were long
But our time together was short
In the end, our match was wrong
Now I can't go to you for support
We went our own ways
and lived our own lives
But don't forget the days
Before we started throwing lies
Though I became a jerk
and you became a twit
We can still make it work
As friends we shouldn't quit
I will always remember our history
So please forget to forget me

This second poem is not as good, I know. But it's definitely a start and hopefully I will grow from it.

I want a plain-Jane, not a crazy-Daisy

I think I figured out what kind of girl I like. It's all thanks to a book I read called Persuasion which I confess I didn't read the whole thing but I did watch the movie. It was written by Jane Austen who also wrote Pride & Prejudice, one my favorite stories (haha another movie which is based on a book I tried to read). Well I might not be able to read one of her books, but I certainly can enjoy her stories told in film form.

So from what I gathered from the movies, the early 19th century was definitely an interesting era. I love the social conventions of the day. And even though Jane Austen tried very hard to satirize and mock the upper class, I found that the way they went about their lives to be admirable and romantic (after all, it was the romantic period).

Well anyways, so after watching these movies, I found that the kind of girls that are most appealing to me are the quiet and reserved girls. The plain-Janes! Back then, the things that made a girl desirable were very basic but they fit my interests. They had to be smart (able to carry a conversation), witty, prudent, talented (embroidering, playing the pianoforte, singing, dancing), caring, and the very least important was physical beauty. But of course, the most important thing to them was class and propriety. Class is kind of eliminated nowadays, but I still think the way a girl carries herself is important. She's gotta be polite and ginger; wike a dewicate wittle fwower.

Girls like that are endangered today. And if you happen to find one, odds are they may not be so physically attractive. Unfortunately, the current society takes the beautiful girls and convinces them that they are only attractive if they act impertinent (look it up on Google). All the beautiful girls are corrupted into insecure worriers who are self-conscious of their appearance. Which might work for some, but my personal quote is "a girl should care more about what's on her mind than what's on her face."

Now I'm not Mr. High-and-Mighty and I'm not going to try and convince you that I'm right. There is nothing wrong with this modern lifestyle and I am not here to judge. This is definitely the popular trend which means it works for a lot of girls and there's not exactly any protest from the boys. In fact, lots of guys are drawn to the more laid-back ladies. All I'm saying is it's not my style.

I'm more into the shy type. The kind of girls who don't busy themselves by talking to boys. Girls who are friends with girls and barely talk to boys; an Ice Queen! (That's a little inside joke between me and nobody so it's a very INside joke.) A girl who doesn't use curse words unless it's under the most extreme situations like intense anger (or pleasure!). Girls who do most if not all of the listening in a converstion. I find that the girls who hide behind a shell are pearls on the inside. It takes time to break down their defenses but when you do, it's well worth the time and effort. Beauty is a plus! I know this is a one-in-a-million kind of girl but I'm sure I'll find this rare catch (my Mewtwo) someday.

Who knows? My plain-Jane might be right under my nose but I haven't been able to see it thanks to my "pride and prejudice" or because I've easily influenced by others' "persuasion." Haha enough puns, time for funs.

---

So the disputed greatest poet of all time was William Vu Shakespeare, right? Well that guy got good by righting a sonnet everyday. So I figure to get back into my poetry groove, I'm going to practice by writing a sonnet everyday as well. Let's get started!

Ode to the plain-Janes
Hush! for now and hear me speak
Allow me to show you how I am great
We already know you're what I seek
But I'm sure that you can appreciate
My mind which extends to the highest cloud
And I've the jolliness that makes Santa jealous
My signs of affection would make you so proud
Our love will sustain no matter what others tell us
I'm incomplete missing your silence
Permit me to love you unconditionally
Let me climb over your high fence
I'm yours whenever you wish to call me
You are perfect just the way you are
And I only aspire to meet your par

Jyeah! I feel really triumphant about this one. Night!

Let's try some poetry!

Haven't written a poem in so long! Let's see if I still got it.

You're so pretty
Your amber eyes stick to me like honey
I can't get over your fuzzy laugh
Your smile turns the gray sky sunny
Your stare can cut any man in half
If I could give you just one thing
I'd want to give you my name
I'll take away all the troubles you bring
And turn them into a game
The sound you make when you breathe
Is the song that I dance to the best
You could be everything that I need
With you I'm always impressed
Let me be the one that's always right
Let me be the one to say good night

Well no doubt that took longer than usual. But again, I'm rusty. Let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Christmas Songs!

It is day two of the 25 days of Christmas! Can you smell the winter air yet? I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but Christmas is my favorite holiday. Something about the festivities really get to me-- stronger than any other holiday ever has. There's so much to see, hear, smell, taste, feel; and it all ends December 26 so you have to savor it while it lasts. If I could only have one holiday for the rest of my life, it would be Christmas for sure.

In case you had no idea or wanted to hear some great Christmas tunes.

As I've stated before, this year has been very tumultuous and it would be really great if I could end it on a high note. Christmas is a time for magic and anything can happen. Christmas is the time when you can be free and tell the world all your secrets. I hope I'm in store for a treat this Christmas. I'm just gonna let it all hang loose and hope for the best.

A happy ending and a new beginning... that's what I want this Christmas!

You guys are gay

Pfft! Bitch I ain't gay. You fools are gay. Bunnath is gay. William is GAY. Bruce is GAY!

Man, how am I gay? Name one gay thing about me. So what if I blog. You guys read it. You guys are gay!

I'm not the one who enjoys watching half-naked dudes roll around on each other. Just because I don't like cars and football, I'm gay?

What if I was gay? You guys gonna hate me then? Man no one is gay so you guys wouldn't know it's like to know a gay guy. Maybe gay guys are cool to hang out with. Bruce knows a gay guy and he says gay people are the same, if not cooler.

You guys are always saying I'm too picky when it comes to girls. Maybe I just know what I want. I know what type of girls I like but whenever I tell you guys, you always give me shit for it. Yeah, I got high standards, but whatever at least I go for what I want. AND I DON'T LIKE GUYS! I like cute innocent smart girls.

SECRET SANTA!

So I am just hours away from picking my secret Santa. I already made the cards and we're gonna go to Bunface's to pick our secret Santa's.

Whoever my secret Santa is, you're in for a real treat. You know how David does these things, he goes ALL OUT! Even if I don't know what to get you, you're gonna get the best random thing ever. It's gonna be a gift you're gonna love and keep loving for years to come. You're gonna use this shit everyday. It might not even expensive. It could just be some invention that you didn't even know existed. It might be a SHAMWOW! I might even make you something. But no matter what it is, it's gonna blow the rest of the gifts away!

I love Christmas!

Re-Modeling

I just spent the last four hours re-doing my entire page and changing the look.
Let me know what you think. Good night!

The downhill day

Today (yesterday, 11/28/08) was a day that started great but got perpetually worse as the hours passed by. It was an ordeal and it feels like last week already.
I woke up to find out that my parents bought a new TV from Black Friday shopping. I won't really be using it, but it's still good news!
Lenry Huu stopped by to wish me a Happy Late-Thanksgiving and we had a great lunch. Then I went to work.
Things started off really well. I was breezing through work without any trouble until my first break. I got so hungry and I couldn't get any food so I had to eat sun chips. Then when I got back to work, my breath stank. But I was getting to know a few more of my co-workers so I didn't mind much.
My next break, I was even more hungry and now there was nothing to eat but chocolate! I'm not a big fan of chocolate, but food is food.
Conversation got dull and suddenly I became that guy who was talking about random things just to cease the silence. And I hate being that guy. So I stopped talking.
After that, work was just lame and dull and I was annoyed by the tedious labor.
When I got off work, I missed the shuttle so I walk halfway to the lot. The I saw the bus so I turn around and walk back. The bus ride only took like 10 minutes but I was so irritated at that point it felt like 30.
I drive to Kevin's double back to pick up a friend and I try to get some cognac from my house. My brother gives me shit and I had to manhandle him out of the way just so I could walk out the house.
I can't drink 'cause I had an empty belly and I had to drive home. The house is packed full of loud drunk people and being surrounded by drunks when you're sober is super lame. All the cool people left and there were some unsavory people who I did not care to see or hear but saw and heard all the same.
During the drive home, loneliness sets in and when I get back to finally get some food, there's only one slice of pumpkin pie left (which is my favorite).

Ugh I'm too fucking tired to even complain anymore.

Just the most annoying day ever. I feel like I just spent the day with myself. I'm going to bed (hopefully).

P.S. Miserable at a party-- how much more pathetic can you get?

Insomnia

I've been having trouble sleeping this past week. Well, more trouble than usual I mean. I generally go to bed around 2 AM and I fall asleep by 2:30-3 due to physical fatigue. But Wednesday morning, I didn't get to bed until 4 AM and Thursday morning I couldn't sleep until 4:30. Today, Friday morning, I am still awake. My eyes hurt from staying open but I just lie there in bed thinking.
Right now, I'm watching TV but there's nothing on except infomercials. TimeLife music is showcasing a collection of soul music. This music reminds me of Macy's. One of the things I miss most about working there was the soundtrack. Some of the music I like, I actually discovered from Macy's. Every other song on this music collection was played at Macy's. After almost two years of working there, the sounds really stick to your head. Soul music is nice.
I think the cause of insomnia is an uneventful day. I think my mind craves more excitement and it refuses to let me rest even though my body is exhausted. There really is no cure for insomnia. I suppose the best thing you could possibly do to fall asleep is take some aspirin and lie motionless in the dark.
Insomnia is a real condition and I really hope I don't have it. I wonder what people who really have it do all night long. Are really people like Tyler Durden out there who spend their nights researching how to build bombs and dismantle infrastructure? There's really nothing to do at night. TV sucks, the internet gets old, you can't read if your eyes are sore, everything is closed, it's dark and dangerous... I mean you can't really do much of anything. It would seem like being awake at night would make it easy to go to bed. It's so boring. It might take you a few hours, but you can just jog in place and then your body should be good to go.
But I don't know. I've been fortunate enough to not have to deal with real insomnia. They say that it can cause more serious mental conditions and you go really CRAZY! *YON* I guess I'm pretty much ready to go to bed. Wish me luck!

If I don't end up sleeping, I'll be back with more to say...

Thanksgiving 2008

So this year's Thanksgiving was the same as any others. My parents spent it with friends of theirs and I was left with my brother eating last night's dinner.

The cider I drank tasted more flat and dull than usual. I finally learned to how to cook eggs sunny side up! It turns out the trick is to put a lid on it. DUH! I think the combination of poorly cooked eggs and warm apple cider is making my stomach hurt.

During Thanksgiving, we're supposed to write down what we are thankful for. At least that's what all my teachers have been making me do everything Thanksgiving since first grade. So without further ado, this is my list of what I am thankful for this year:

1. My health- A lot of people like to tell me that I'm not healthy. Maybe in your opinion, I am not healthy; the way I see it, I'm alive and I eat everyday. I don't have a fever and my body doesn't ache. That's healthy enough for me and its better off than a lot of people. If you're healthier than me, well good for you but that doesn't make me any less healthy.
2. My friends- I've said it before and I'll say it again: 2008 has been a difficult year for me. According to my superstitious parents, every 6 years on the Chinese calendar will be a year of bad luck. So every year of the rat and year of the horse, I have to be extra careful (that goes for the rest of you horse's!) Well if you spoken to me anytime in the past 11 months, I don't need to tell you about all the problems I've been having this year. The only reason I am still standing and still laughing is my friends. I'm almost grateful for all the hardships I've faced because it has only brought me closer to my friends. I'm usually the guy that people come to for help. I am the one who cheers people up and offers advice. It feels great to know that I finally have people who would do the same for me.
   Henry- I've known your ass since kindergarten. For 14 years, you've never failed to put a smile on my face. This year, I fell down and I want to thank you for picking me up. We've always been able to share good times; now that we've faced the bad time together, I know our friendship can overcome anything. I love you man and I hope we don't stop laughing for another 14 years... and then another 14.
   William- I get by day-to-day thanks to this guy. William, you are a bright and shining beacon of gayness that spreads joy to all. Sometimes when I have a bad day, I'm a big grouchy downer but you always try your best to turn me around each day. Even though you suck at scoutzknivez, you try your best and you never quit! That attitude encourages me to keep going and I'm blessed to have your determination rub off on me.
   Tiffani- You're the only person balancing my feminine side. When serious shit goes down, you're the first person I call and you're always there for me. Your ability to stay calm and cool gives me strength and it reminds me to think with an even temper. It's also good to know that someone actually cares about and listens to what I have to say. It's fun when we agree on things and even more fun when we disagree. You are a diamond in the rough and in time, you will grow to be the jewel in everyone's life. You like that fortune cookie line?
   And now the three B's in alphabetical order:
   Bao- Even though we're "mad" at each other right now, I'm still thankful for you in my life. We don't always see eye-to-eye but its the differences that allow us to complement each other. I mean, if we agreed on everything, it'd be boring. I know you're going through a tough time right now, but just know that I'm just trying give you advice. My advice isn't always the best, but it's all I got. You're King Bao! You'll figure it out!
   Bruce- Hey boo boo! I love you caca! Brucie-bear, I know I give you a hard time, but it's only because I know you're tough enough to take it. I think the world of you and even though I don't show it, you're kind of like a role model for me. You always have a smile on your face and your positivity is contagious. You given me so much; don't ever hesitate to ask because I would love to return the favor. I respect you and I envy your powerful personality.
   Bunnath- You're the only asshole meaner than me. You make me look good. HAHAHA I love you, you stinker! Seriously though, you are like the one guy who I'm not afraid to be myself around. I'm glad that I have someone like you who makes the music sound louder and the lights shine brighter.
   Es- Dude you are so chill... Too chill in fact. I can't even think of anything to write. I am thankful for your placidity. Everytime I talk to you, you so serene and peaceful. It's good to know that when my life is crazy and on it side, talking to you can be like a 2-week vacation which relaxes all the tension.
   I'd really hate myself for forgetting anyone but this sections getting pretty long and I got a lot more to say and I wanna make it before midnight. So if I forget you, I am sincerely apologetic but know that I am thankful of our friendship!
3. My things- Now I'm not a materialistic guy, but it would be negligent to overlook all the great possessions I have. In our capitalist society, the success we've achieved is not necessarily expressed in our accomplishments or moral characters. These days, people are more measured by what we own. I've worked hard to earn everything I have and even though I don't like being judged by my property, I'm still proud of them.
4. New music discovered- It's pretty evident that I have an esoteric taste in music. I like listening to popular music, but they always leave me wanting more. This year, I've been able to define my musical taste by experimenting with maybe different sounds and genres. I'm glad that I found artists who I really appreciate; music that never gets old. Yeah, it's sad music, but it makes me think and it makes me feel "full." A Fine Frenzy, Ingrid Michaelson, Adele, The Bird & the Bee, Mason Jennings, Travis, James Morrison, Secondhand Serenade (?), Pink Martini, Owl City, etc. Music like this is now my style of music.
5. Being Single- HAHAHA not really. I can't really say that I enjoy being single but I do believe that it is good for me. Being alone has allowed me to grow into a better person and it unleashed the real me. It was a much-needed wake up call which really put my life into perspective. I think that part of living in this world is knowing where you fit in it.

So there you have it, my list of what I'm thankful for. It's not much but I would gladly put my list up against yours and I bet I'd still be happy with it.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and I wish you can appreciate what you DO have instead of focusing on what you DON'T. It's the only way you can live with an honest smile!

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's all Christmas now 8)